Talking respectfully about people of all genders and sexual orientations also lets your child know you think everyone is equal and valuable. For some young people, sexual development during adolescence will include same-sex attraction, experiences and relationships. Other young people might develop bisexual attraction. Others might feel confused if their feelings and attractions seem different from what their friends are experiencing or what they see in the media. Either way, responding positively and non-judgmentally is a good first step.
If you think you might have trouble being calm and positive, there might be another adult who both you and your child trust and who your child could talk with about their feelings.
Sexuality develops over time. Exploration and experimentation with sexuality is normal and common. Your support can help your child navigate this period of exploration and self-discovery.
Not all teenage relationships include sex, but most teenagers will experiment with sexual behaviour at some stage. This is why your child needs clear information on consent , contraception, safe sex and sexually transmitted infections STIs. This could also be your chance to talk together about dealing with unwanted sexual and peer pressure.
When you encourage conversations in your family about feelings, friendships and family relationships , it can help your child feel confident to talk about teenage relationships in general. If your child knows what respectful relationships look like in general, they can relate this directly to romantic relationships. These conversations might mean that your child will feel more comfortable sharing their feelings with you as they start to get romantically interested in others.
Having conversations with your child about sex and relationships from a young age might mean your child feels more comfortable to ask you questions as they move into adolescence. Depending on your values and family rules, you and your child might need to discuss behaviour, ground rules and consequences for breaking the rules.
You might also want to agree on some strategies for what your child should do if they feel unsafe or threatened. They still need your back-up, though, so keeping the lines of communication open is important. Check out our article about difficult conversations for more tips on how to handle them.
If you and your child can have comfortable, open discussions about sex, sexuality and relationships , it can actually delay the start of sexual activity for your child. It can also mean your child has safer sexual activity when they do start. About Us Advertise Contact Us. Suzanne M. Wood ,. Preview: Triangle Tango Regatta on Nov. What is sustainable milk and why should you care? Email Address. First Name. Last Name. Choose List s Monthly FYI: This highly curated newsletter has everything local parents need to know to start each month.
Special Promotions: Limited-time offers, giveaways, and promotions from our partners. Understand that early dating is your teen's chance to work on these life skills. It's important to talk to your teen about a variety of dating topics, such as personal values, expectations, and peer pressure. Be open with your teen about everything from treating someone else with respect to your—and their—beliefs around sexual activity.
It can be helpful to outline for your kids what early dating may be like for them. Even if your perspective is a bit outdated, sharing it can get the conversation started. Ask them what they have in mind about dating and what questions they may have.
Possibly share some of your own experiences. Go over the topics of consent, feeling safe and comfortable, and honoring their own and the other person's feelings. Most importantly, tell them what you expect in terms of being respectful of their dating partner and vice versa.
Talk about the basics too, like how to behave when meeting a date's parents or how to be respectful while you're on a date.
Make sure your teen knows to show respect by being on time and not texting friends throughout the date. Talk about what to do if a date behaves disrespectfully. Talk to your child about safe sex. Additionally, don't assume you know or should choose the type or gender of the person your child will want to date.
You might see your child with a sporty, clean-cut kid or a teen from their newspaper club, but they may express interest in someone else entirely. This is their time to experiment and figure out what and who they are interested in. Plus, we all know that the more you push, the more they'll pull. Your child may be interested in someone that you would never pick for them but aim to be as supportive as you can as long as it's a healthy, respectful relationship. Be open to the fact that sexuality and gender are a spectrum and many kids won't fall into the traditional boxes—or fit the exact expectations their parents have for them.
Love your child no matter what. Your parenting values, your teen's maturity level, and the specific situation will help you determine how much chaperoning your teen needs. Having an eyes-on policy might be necessary and healthy in some circumstances but teens also need a growing amount of independence and the ability to make their own choices.
Aim to offer your teen at least a little bit of privacy. Don't listen in on phone calls or eavesdrop on private chats, and don't read every social media message. Keep tabs on what you can, especially if you have any concerns about what is going on.
You can certainly follow your child's public posts on social media. You'll need to follow your instincts on how closely to supervise what your child is doing.
Inviting your child to bring their friends and dates to your house is another good strategy as you will get a better sense of the dynamic of the group or couple. Plus, if your child thinks you genuinely want to get to know their friends or romantic partners and aren't hostile to them, they are more likely to open up to you—and possibly, less likely to engage in questionable behavior.
While it's not healthy to get too wrapped up in your teen's dating life, there may be times when you'll have to intervene. If you overhear your teen saying mean comments or using manipulative tactics, speak up. Similarly, if your teen is on the receiving end of unhealthy behavior , it's important to step in and help out. There's a small window of time between when your teen begins dating and when they're going to be entering the adult world.
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